The Many Faces Of My Injury

Distraction can be a great tool…I use it often. Between the day-to-day time-consuming tasks of having a spinal cord injury; the-day-to-day tasks of having children; and the day-to-day tasks of being an adult, I don’t have to seek out too much distraction. When I do find myself with a quiet moment and my thoughts start to wander I usually put on music or Netflix to keep my mind on only what I’m prepared to deal with. However sometimes the system fails and distraction doesn’t come easily. Continue reading “The Many Faces Of My Injury”

Inadequate. Jealous. Justified.

Recently I’ve found that I have been reserving a lot of headspace for self-pity. I have been struggling more with feelings of inadequacy and, worst of all, jealousy. These feelings are never ones that disappear completely, but I usually have a better handle on them; I am usually capable of compartmentalizing them and then using them as motivation to move on. But lately that hasn’t been working for me – lately it has felt like I am unequivocally incapable of living the life that I want and doing the things that I want to do. Continue reading “Inadequate. Jealous. Justified.”

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When Your Husband Turns 30

My husband turns 30 today…30! I’ll be following suit in a few weeks but that isn’t something I’m quite ready to acknowledge yet. Regardless, it is impossible to believe that this year is here; the year we both turn 30 and have been together for half of our lives. When I did the calculation back in high school it seemed so far away. When I imagined where we would be at this point in our lives it looked different than what has become reality, but, in a lot of the ways, it is what I anticipated. There was certainly no unexpected, life-altering accident with all of the residual effects included in my teenage daydreaming. However there was love, a family, a house and even a dog. But one thing I knew absolutely-without-a-doubt-for-sure was that we would be adults. Yes, at 30 we would definitely be grown ups. Continue reading “When Your Husband Turns 30”

Little Black Socks

Fashion-forward I am not. I would love to claim the title of ‘fashionista’ but unfortunately, for me, my sister got the fashion sense in the family. You would think my sense of style would have benefited over the years but she is also pathologically unable to say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings so basically everything I would try on for her looked ‘cute’…so benefit me, it did not. Continue reading “Little Black Socks”

My Paraplegic Self – Because It Wasn’t A Dream

For months after my injury I woke up every day hoping that it was all just a bad dream. There was always a brief moment of hope and possibility before reality hit yet again. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way; it’s been a long time since the fog of disbelief lifted. However some days I still wake up with that familiar feeling of ‘maybe it was just a dream’. Continue reading “My Paraplegic Self – Because It Wasn’t A Dream”

Just You, Me And My Wheelchair

Call me a dreamer, but I had always imagined that my marriage would consist of just the two of us until forever. So I have been somewhat unwilling to accept that our party of two has become a party of three. I’m not talking children…they are our family (and they take our number much higher than three). I’m talking only about our ‘one-on-one-just-you-and-me-until-death-do-us-part’ marriage. You know the one right? Continue reading “Just You, Me And My Wheelchair”

Why We Need A ‘Village’

“It takes a village to raise a child.” A phrase I’m sure most of us are familiar with. I had never really bought in to the whole ‘village’ concept. I was confident that I could raise my children on my own and we didn’t need anyone else except our little family unit. We had grandparents around who loved to babysit and be involved but I considered it a perk more than a necessity. I kept my kids pretty close and while we did have friends around, I didn’t see a need for their help with raising my children. Continue reading “Why We Need A ‘Village’”

My Shoes Are Never Dirty (and other ‘para-perks’)

In this world that takes so much and doesn’t usually give us anything in return, we have to advocate for our own happiness; we have to find and invest our time in the things that make our life worth living. I feel like I advocate for myself most days…other days I take the opposite approach but we all have our weak moments right? While being positive and choosing to live my life isn’t always easy, it does feel like my only option. Continue reading “My Shoes Are Never Dirty (and other ‘para-perks’)”

365

I’m sitting here, on the night before my first accident-iversary (it’s a word people use—I googled it to see if I made it up or not) and I’m attempting to write something eloquent about time passing and about the fact that it has been one year since my accident. Every time I think I have something decent, I read it back to find that it sounds artificial—it sounds like I’m trying to hide what I really want to say. So I imagine what I’m about to write isn’t going to be eloquent—it may not even be well written—but I can pretty much guarantee that it will be what I want to say. 

Continue reading “365”

Don’t Take My Accessibility

Before this spinal cord injury swept in to inflict havoc upon my life I would have to admit that I was uninformed. Well, saying that I was oblivious to the struggles of the disabled population would be putting it nicely. More accurately, I was content to be blissfully ignorant about disability in general. It made me uncomfortable and for that I am ashamed. However now that I have been thrust in to this new reality I have come to learn first hand about the day-to-day difficulties that people with disabilities face. A lot of these struggles are out of my control; a lot of the struggles are things I must learn to manage. But there are some things that I come across that, while still out of my control, leave me frustrated with those of the non-disabled variety. Let me enlighten you. Continue reading “Don’t Take My Accessibility”