Category: Living With SCI

The Pursuit Of Bladder Control – The Saga Continues

After months of trying to find the perfect solution to my bladder issues, I have conclusively determined that…there isn’t one. I suppose that is probably obvious because I’d be rich and famous right now if I had discovered the solution to bladder control after a spinal cord injury. Alas, here I sit, not rich, not famous, and still possessing a bladder that endeavours to rule my life. But I promise you it’s not as dire as it sounds. My bladder may still hold power over me, however I trust it more than I once did and we are slowly becoming friends again. Well, actually, Botox is my true friend. I’m just kind to my bladder with hopes it will be kind to me. Maybe it understands reciprocity? Continue reading “The Pursuit Of Bladder Control – The Saga Continues”

Conquering Time And Choosing To Be Grateful

As I sit here at the beginning of May, I feel like I should be refreshed and ready to start something new. Instead, much like the weather here, I am left with a winter hangover – cloudy and dark while attempting to brighten up. I’m struggling to comprehend that April is over and, like so many other people, I feel like time is passing by too quickly. Continue reading “Conquering Time And Choosing To Be Grateful”

Inadequate. Jealous. Justified.

Recently I’ve found that I have been reserving a lot of headspace for self-pity. I have been struggling more with feelings of inadequacy and, worst of all, jealousy. These feelings are never ones that disappear completely, but I usually have a better handle on them; I am usually capable of compartmentalizing them and then using them as motivation to move on. But lately that hasn’t been working for me – lately it has felt like I am unequivocally incapable of living the life that I want and doing the things that I want to do. Continue reading “Inadequate. Jealous. Justified.”

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My Paraplegic Self – Because It Wasn’t A Dream

For months after my injury I woke up every day hoping that it was all just a bad dream. There was always a brief moment of hope and possibility before reality hit yet again. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way; it’s been a long time since the fog of disbelief lifted. However some days I still wake up with that familiar feeling of ‘maybe it was just a dream’. Continue reading “My Paraplegic Self – Because It Wasn’t A Dream”

Just You, Me And My Wheelchair

Call me a dreamer, but I had always imagined that my marriage would consist of just the two of us until forever. So I have been somewhat unwilling to accept that our party of two has become a party of three. I’m not talking children…they are our family (and they take our number much higher than three). I’m talking only about our ‘one-on-one-just-you-and-me-until-death-do-us-part’ marriage. You know the one right? Continue reading “Just You, Me And My Wheelchair”

Label Me

I’ve certainly been called many different things in my life. While ‘clairvoyant’ would have been super handy, I instead got the equally unexpected ‘disabled’. It was certainly never a description I had ever imagined for myself but I’ve tried my best to embrace it. However, I received a bit of negative feedback a few weeks ago for using the words ‘disabled’ and ‘handicapped’ and I took it to heart. I couldn’t decide whether or not to write this post but I decided that I have something to say on this topic and that I’m going to say it… Continue reading “Label Me”

My Shoes Are Never Dirty (and other ‘para-perks’)

In this world that takes so much and doesn’t usually give us anything in return, we have to advocate for our own happiness; we have to find and invest our time in the things that make our life worth living. I feel like I advocate for myself most days…other days I take the opposite approach but we all have our weak moments right? While being positive and choosing to live my life isn’t always easy, it does feel like my only option. Continue reading “My Shoes Are Never Dirty (and other ‘para-perks’)”

Don’t Take My Accessibility

Before this spinal cord injury swept in to inflict havoc upon my life I would have to admit that I was uninformed. Well, saying that I was oblivious to the struggles of the disabled population would be putting it nicely. More accurately, I was content to be blissfully ignorant about disability in general. It made me uncomfortable and for that I am ashamed. However now that I have been thrust in to this new reality I have come to learn first hand about the day-to-day difficulties that people with disabilities face. A lot of these struggles are out of my control; a lot of the struggles are things I must learn to manage. But there are some things that I come across that, while still out of my control, leave me frustrated with those of the non-disabled variety. Let me enlighten you. Continue reading “Don’t Take My Accessibility”

My Adventures In Adapted Driving

Driving isn’t for everyone but I always knew it was for me. Growing up I was just aching for the age when I could finally get my license (so were most people that I knew). I was 16 and it was exciting and liberating; it was freedom! Eventually, this huge milestone that I’d waited years for came and went. The excitement diminished and the independence became ordinary. Continue reading “My Adventures In Adapted Driving”

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The Pursuit Of Bladder Control

I have spent a large part of my life searching. We all search right? (I mean, I hope it’s not just me.) We search for happiness, love, friendship, knowledge, and wealth. If you’re like me you spend a lot of time searching for your car keys in the bottom of your purse and maybe your cell phone whilst talking on it. However while I’d rather be on a quest to find the true meaning of life or, more likely, figuring out how to convince my husband that four kids would be a fantastic idea, I have instead found myself otherwise occupied with the all important pursuit of bladder control. Continue reading “The Pursuit Of Bladder Control”