I had a dream a couple of nights ago – a dream I’ve had before. I was still in a wheelchair but could easily walk when I felt it necessary. For instance, I would wheel up to a staircase, proceed to stand and walk up or down the stairs and then continue on in my wheelchair. I’ve said before, the inability to walk is the easiest part of dealing with a spinal cord injury (it really is!). However, the sense of relief I feel in those dreams is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like realizing you can breathe just when you thought the oxygen had run out. And for a few moments, while I convince myself that I am not dreaming, life becomes easier. Continue reading “An Uninvited Dream”
Category: Just Me
If you know me or have followed me on social media you have probably seen that I like to play around with singing and music. Considering I focused on Music when I was in high school, you would think that I know my stuff but I really don’t. I enjoy it and I manage to be in key slightly more often than I am out of it, but I am far from the most talented musician I know. I’m not even the most talented musician in my marriage! Even so, music has been an incredible outlet for me since my injury. Continue reading “It’s All in the Lyrics”
Every so often I find myself contemplating whether or not this blogging thing is for me. This past week has been one of those weeks; I had to take some time to regroup. My latest post got some attention and, for the most part, it was all really positive. However this was the first time that I also received some really negative feedback. I’m a fairly sensitive person and while I knew that it was bound to happen eventually, I still found myself reeling from the few personal attacks on my character. So instead of concentrating on all of the messages from people who found my post so relatable, I instead found myself focusing on the few who really hated what I had to say. I started to question, once again, why it is I’m sharing my life in such a public manner. And I determined that one of the biggest reasons is this: to reclaim my anonymity. Continue reading “Reclaiming My Anonymity”
We all draw inspiration from different places and different people. Although, if we are being totally honest, it mostly comes from Pinterest. However, I feel lucky in the sense that I have a lot of screen-free inspiration in my life. I’m surrounded by numerous people who motivate me to be better: a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, a better daughter, a better writer, and a better version of myself. And over the last year I have packed my newsfeeds with people who inspire me to continue this journey in life despite my physical limitations. Continue reading “An Inspiration By Default”
It’s my birthday. I’ve always loved my birthday but ever since I turned 19, I have hated the idea of getting older. I don’t know why the number has bothered me so much. Up until a week ago I was saying that 30 just sounded so old. But I’ve changed my mind. Partly because a lot of my friends, all of my siblings and most of my cousins are in their forties (it helps a girl stay young), but mostly because of something I read the other day and everything it made me think about.
A memory came up on Facebook (as they do every day when you subscribe to the ‘on this day’ function). 10 years ago, I wrote that I was not looking forward to my birthday because turning 20 meant “a downward spiral into oblivion.” Initially I read it and thought that my 19-year-old self was quite the dramatic. As I thought about it more I realized that, while dramatic, she was also kind of right. While I didn’t make it all the way to oblivion, I definitely hit the bottom – spine first.
There are a lot of people out there who call me brave for sharing my journey so openly. Many of them wonder why I choose to expose my life to anyone with an Internet connection and a screen. In all honesty, I have asked myself these questions more than once. There are days where attempting to turn my thoughts into something coherent seems almost impossible. There are moments where I feel misunderstood. Some days I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the feedback I get from readers, while other days I worry that I’m not reaching anyone. And all too often I feel anxious thinking that I might disappoint someone by not always seeing the silver lining. Continue reading “Why I Tell You Everything”
My husband turns 30 today…30! I’ll be following suit in a few weeks but that isn’t something I’m quite ready to acknowledge yet. Regardless, it is impossible to believe that this year is here; the year we both turn 30 and have been together for half of our lives. When I did the calculation back in high school it seemed so far away. When I imagined where we would be at this point in our lives it looked different than what has become reality, but, in a lot of the ways, it is what I anticipated. There was certainly no unexpected, life-altering accident with all of the residual effects included in my teenage daydreaming. However there was love, a family, a house and even a dog. But one thing I knew absolutely-without-a-doubt-for-sure was that we would be adults. Yes, at 30 we would definitely be grown ups. Continue reading “When Your Husband Turns 30”
Fashion-forward I am not. I would love to claim the title of ‘fashionista’ but unfortunately, for me, my sister got the fashion sense in the family. You would think my sense of style would have benefited over the years but she is also pathologically unable to say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings so basically everything I would try on for her looked ‘cute’…so benefit me, it did not. Continue reading “Little Black Socks”
I’ve certainly been called many different things in my life. While ‘clairvoyant’ would have been super handy, I instead got the equally unexpected ‘disabled’. It was certainly never a description I had ever imagined for myself but I’ve tried my best to embrace it. However, I received a bit of negative feedback a few weeks ago for using the words ‘disabled’ and ‘handicapped’ and I took it to heart. I couldn’t decide whether or not to write this post but I decided that I have something to say on this topic and that I’m going to say it… Continue reading “Label Me”
In this world that takes so much and doesn’t usually give us anything in return, we have to advocate for our own happiness; we have to find and invest our time in the things that make our life worth living. I feel like I advocate for myself most days…other days I take the opposite approach but we all have our weak moments right? While being positive and choosing to live my life isn’t always easy, it does feel like my only option. Continue reading “My Shoes Are Never Dirty (and other ‘para-perks’)”