The day I got married—13 years ago today—I knew that growing old with someone wouldn’t always be easy. I knew that in order to become a couple who celebrates 50 plus years of marriage, we would need to withstand some storms. But I never imagined those storms would get so strong before the first decade was even behind us.
I wasn’t going to post today. I planned to let our anniversary pass by on social media like it was just an average Monday. In all honesty, it is just an average Monday around here—work, school and a pre-planned Toy Story 3 movie night before seeing the fourth installment later this week. But then there was this song (that I can’t upload here so check it out on Facebook ) And it forced my hand you guys—it forced it!
My husband wasn’t all too impressed with me at 8:30PM on Saturday night when I announced we should learn this song and record it so that I could get all of this out of my brain and into the world (and that we should do it before we go to bed because Sunday was going to be busy). And yet, here we are: the song is recorded, there are some visuals because a black screen is boring and what you are about to read is the quick version of everything my heart feels about it and why it possessed me to share with you on our anniversary. So… I suppose I convinced him.
I heard this song a couple of weeks ago at a dance recital and I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It is one of those songs that reaches inside of you to a place that unlocks so many emotions simultaneously—to the point you have to decide to go with it or fight it; give in to the emotions or put up a wall and refuse to acknowledge everything it brings to the surface. There is excitement, love, happiness, pain, loss and hope. It is a love story told in its entirety in only three minutes. Yet it captivates you to the point where your heart breaks while you’re smiling because you believe that love—life-long-existence-altering love—and connection exists.
I saw myself and my husband. I saw our marriage and was reminded, once again, that I want decades of it. Withstanding storms is part of life and I wouldn’t do it half as well without Ian by my side. But between those storms is connection, trust and years of shared experiences. And it was the connection in this song that really gripped me. As a couple, knowing how you connect best and going back to it over and over and over again to find solace amongst the chaos is—to me—the most comforting of all things. There is so much peace in clawing back life to connect as only the two of you can—and in knowing that you can depend on it. But that strong connection also amplifies the heartbreak when it is interrupted or gone for good. A trade-off I suppose.
13 years of marriage. I know it isn’t decades. I know—I hope—we have a lot more life to live and within that we will have many more storms to weather. But I also know that the storms make you stronger. I know that leaning into one another is so much more useful than pushing away. And I know that having a strong understanding of how you connect best is one of the simplest ways to help make it through.
Happy anniversary to my amazing husband. Happy Monday to all of you. If you would like to hear a much less amateur version of the song please check out the original: One Last Dance by Us The Duo. And thank-you to Jordan, Lola and Brendan for bringing this song to life on stage and inspiring me to create with it in my own way.